Throughout the last three or four years of my life I have had quite a few experiences with God, some of which were glimpses that He gave me of the afterlife. I also have had an experience that I believe was from the devil. Before I talk about my experiences, I want to tell you about my background.
I am a former cocaine addict. I was completely powerless over it. Thanks to God I have been sober for about 27 months. I used for about nine or ten years. While I struggled with cocaine and other drugs I was told by people that the only way to beat cocaine addiction was to turn my life over to God. In order to do this, first I would have to say that you must believe in God. My faith in God at that time was very limited. In fact, I would say that my doubt actually outweighed my faith. Basically, I wanted to believe that there was a God, but faith was hard to come by.
During this time I was overdosing fairly often on cocaine. Every time a person overdoses, their life hangs in the balance. Currently, I am 29 years old. When I was 25, I had this vision that I believe was from the devil. I'll let you be the judge.
I laid down to go to bed one night, and as soon as I closed my eyes, I had the vision. It was kind of like being in a movie theatre where everything is very clear like its in high defintion. This image of a wheel appeared and it was spinning while voices all talking at the same time chanted, "Undeniable, Unbelievable, Undeniable, Unbelievable," over and over. This went on for like three or four minutes, the voices chanting and the wheel spinning. After about 4 minutes an image appeared in the wheel while it continued to spin. It was a lot of writing, like lines and lines of writing. I was trying to read what the words said but I just couldn't seem to make them out, and then the number 28 jumped out at me. Right after that number appeared the vision ended and everything vanished. I put everything that was going on in my life and that vision together and I came up with the conclusion that I was going to die at 28 from a drug overdose. It was "Undeniable and Unbelievable." I lost hope because I believed that this was my destiny, to die a drug addict.
I have overdosed on cocaine about 7 times. When I o.d., I lose consciousness and go into respiratory arrest and have seizures. The first time I overdosed while driving I was doing about 80 mph, according to an eyewitness, on a country highway and went in between two trees and ended up in a field. I wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and I managed to walk away with only a few scrathes. Looking back, I believe that God was steering the wheel for me.
During the second o.d. While driving, when I regained consciousness I remember cops and fireman all around me. I had an oxygen mask on my face and remembered the vision. I thought that I had survived the wreck because it wasn't my time. I wasn't 28 yet. That night I went to jail and two days later I had my first experience with God.
It took place out in a field where I was picking up trash because I worked at a mental institution and wasn't allowed direct contact with the patients until the super-intendant figured out what she was going to do with me and my arrest. While picking up trash, all of these terrible thoughts hit me all at once. I experienced humility at the highest I think I will ever. In my eyes, I was the scum of the earth. I wanted to die but at the same time I didn't because I was terrified of death. What if death is like my overdoses except I will never wake up?
At the peak of these thoughts I had an experience that is difficult to explain. It was sort of like a wind, not of air, but of Spirit blowing through my mind. All of the problems that I was tripping out on became so trivial. God revealed Himself to me and I was healed. It was like He let me know He was watching me and obviously knew that what I was going through was too much to handle.
After that experience I gave my life to God and worshipped Him daily. I then began to have these experiences of the afterlife. My nightly routine was and still is to get on my knees and pray to God. After that, I'd lay in bed and think about God until I fell asleep. Well every so often God would wake me up out of my sleep I guess you could say, but I'm not sure if I was sleeping or in some kind of trance. I would have these experiences where I thought I was dead. I was fully aware of death but I still had a consciousness. The experiences were so mind blowing. It was like I could almost see heaven but it was distorted, and I couldn't quite make it out. I felt this super intense sensation of not being able to grasp the fact that I was there. I couldn't believe it. It was like a dream that didn't seem real. It was surreal. I was in absolute awe of my existance but in an extremely uncomfortable way. In fact, I have never been more scared in my life. It wasn't a fear like I was in danger, it was something that I just wasn't use to to say the least. That experience was totally different than the present consciousness that I have alive here on this planet. I believe those experiences are what the Bible is talking about when it refers to the fear of God. I believe people should fear God concerning their destination when they die because He is the One in control, but I also believe that there is more to it than that.
During those "death" experiences God talked to me but usually His way of communicating to me is this supernatural telepathy that is so high. At the time I know what He is telling me but I can't explain it fully in words. On two occasions I heard these voices that I believe were angels. Once again, I believed I was dead and the first time I heard a voice say, "Take him to heaven God." The second time I heard an actual voice was an experience with Jesus Christ. It was similar to the rest of my experiences except I saw a bright light that was different than any light that I have seen in this world. I don't remember if He told me He was Jesus or if I just knew in my heart, but I heard a voice tell Jesus, "Take it away." I'm not exactly sure what that means but right after that Jesus's light pulsated super bright and it scared the daylights out of me and I pulled out of it and popped up in bed.
I have had many more strange experiences like the few I mentioned, throughout the last few years of my sober life. God has changed me from the inside, out. When faced with drug addiction, doctors and hospitals can do nothing. God has to intervene. He is the solution to all problems. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are all one and are very much real. I have found that He is watching every one of us very closely like He is using a microscope.
I didn't die at 28 like I thought I would. In the bible, Jesus refers to the devil as the prince of liars. The devil deceived me but his ultimate plan of me dying from a drug overdose failed because God is the Highest Power. The devil wants us to fail at life and to rot in hell with him. It takes a super power like God to defeat him.
One of my favorite quotes from the bible is, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." With that, I am thankful to be alive today, to have been created, and to have been able to share my story. Glory to God!
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