It was early November 2016 a Monday in Pasadena Ca. At the California Technical Institute campus. I am an electrician with a company that was doing work at the campus and my duties on that day I was to be the attendant of a confined space. This space was the tunnels used to house all the electrical feeders and other conduits used to power up the entire campus portions of the tunnel were built sometime in 1890s other parts built as the other building were built in later years. While my coworkers were in the access tunnels that ran for miles in every direction under the campus replacing conduits I was above ground sitting at an opening monitoring their safety.
On this day I already was feeling slow due to the night before staying up most the night with Tim. I sat there for hours not prepared to do so, meaning I had nothing to read or no paper to draw on so I just sat there. Lunch time came at 11 o clock during lunch I started to feel my face contract like my muscles tighten in my face, mouth, and neck area. The feeling was short and it was at least ten minute between spasm. I started to immediately feel embarrassed, trying hard to restrain my face from doing this while I was with coworkers. And in a very public place every crazy thought going through my head as to why this was happening. Wondering, did my nervous system give out? Was I going crazy? Panic was settling in. While sitting on the bench I kept my hands over my face and head down not saying a word to anyone which wasn't out of the ordinary for me.
Then thankfully it's back to work. All this time my body is in full panic mode and so I sit back in the chair and my leg starts to shake uncontrollably and the muscle tension starts in my legs and feet I jump up from the seat and try and shake it off, the whole time praying to Jesus, "lord, please send down your Angeles to help me ", please Jesus help me." barely being able to relax my body for a few seconds. I start praying the lord's prayer "Our father who art in heaven"... In-between my prayer words I would yell out stop! Stop!
Now I am pacing and obviously anxiously jumping around in circles like if I had ants in my pants sitting, then standing moving around trying to keep my body from contorting that way saying my prayers louder and louder even to the point of screaming out stop! Feeling that I couldn't control it much more and become in a more serious, noticeable panic state my boss says over the radio clean up time. I get up and quickly put all the equipment away avoiding any conversation or closeness with anyone afraid someone would see what was happening and think I was crazy or on drugs or something, I still did not understand what was happening to me at that time, I thought I was just losing my control over my muscles I was praying that I wasn't going to be left that way forever
So in a hurry to get out of there, I quickly get to my car and drive off, the muscles in my leg were so tight and intense all of my toes were twisted up in a muscle spasm the facial muscles and neck were being pulled and strained, a good example of what it felt like would be how a mother cat picks up her kittens by the neck that's how someone had me. I start to scream out loud no! Stop! Please stop! Jesus, please help me. The strain getting more and more stronger and painful I manage to get on freeway pushing the gas with only the tip of my big toe arms extended straight in a tense locked position holding on tight to the steering wheel every muscle in my body was pushed to the limit, as tight as they could be I continued praying, screaming nonstop.
It was the scariest moment of my entire life! I had no control, I couldn't calm my muscles down anymore not even for a few seconds, I was having the feeling like I would soon not even be able to control my big toe from just pushed down on the gas pedal and head straight at other cars causing what would have been a very bad accident I felt like I was going to crash thinking about my safety and the safety of others I decide to pull off the freeway before I lost the only tiny bit of control I had in my big toe. I jump out of my car and start to walk down the main street not even turning my car off or shutting the door just walking against traffic trying to mentally shake off the tenseness, still screaming stop, stop! Jesus help me! Using one arm to hit the back of my neck as to try to get whatever had a grip on me to let go.
Walking for three minutes or so I regain some mobility in my muscles. But now my eyes are ready to shut blinking so fast feeling like I could have just passed out that second I manage to get back in my car and get home all of the way home looking ahead as if looking through a film strip frame by frame only seeing quick glimpse of what was happening as my eyes fluttered and strained to stay open. Thinking back, it was like if I got home in ten minute when it takes at least 45- 60 minute to reach my house.
I am not really aware of what was happening around me at that time I can't recall too much. My mind was still in a panic state still praying trying not to sleep. But thankfully somehow I make it home. Quickly I get out of my car, go straight to my room and hit the floor grab my blanket and wrap up in it. I take off my pants and shirt while under my blanket and close my eyes and in that second I was asleep. My body stops spasm and quickly realize I am having an out of body experience.
Suddenly I see myself in my mind or in another realm not sure where I was and still at this time not even knowing what was happening to me, but I see myself sleeping and I start to look around it's a space with no edges, no ending, gray in color and (smoke like) dust floating everything including myself is a bland grey color, then I see an Angel come down quickly dressed in battle gear and I see Jesus gently float down to me they both have their backs to me but they were protecting me shielding me. It's only then that I realize that they were there to fight the evilness that had me the evilness that attacked me from the hole I was watching. Jesus said to me "you must feel the ripples flow through your body or else it won't be any use so concentrate on feeling the ripples flowing from your center core to the ends of your body".
I understood and started to concentrate on that. Then Jesus had a staff and he starts to say," you shall not pass." as he slams the staff on the ground or spot closest to my feet I see the ripple like if you were to drop a pebble into water the ripple you would see is what I saw and I felt it go through my body to the very nerve endings. His back still facing me, his voice loud and strong. Thunderous sounding. Then the Angels descended down and they were both slamming their staff on the ground nonstop creating these ripples trying to push whatever had a hold of my spirit out of me.
While they were doing this I am in awe thinking to myself I must take a good look at all this because I wanted to remember every detail, until then I didn't know what was happening to me, but thinking this is what it's like when there is spiritual warfare I was in a battle against evil. Jesus never left my side but the angels kept coming and going different ones sometimes there were two angels sometimes only one they were wearing short robes with golden sandals a gold belt with some kind of armor on chest they had a bow of some kind in hand they were light completed dark hair dark eyes, very handsome, muscular build. Their white robes gave off a golden shimmer and their wings were beautiful very large and strong as they were swooshing back and forth up and down I reached out to touch one wing and it was just like wings of a bird soft smooth white with a golden tint. Very strong I could feel the wind they would create on my face and hair.
Watching Jesus and his staff I was still in amazement but still concentrating on feeling each ripple flow thru. I remember starting to think about what my body was feeling I could see myself laying there motionless and I thought I felt my body start to cramp up and I started to panic thinking that it was getting a good grip on me again and Jesus stopped and turned to me and said to me "it's up to u if you don't have faith then none of this is going to work you have to not have doubt, and I said to Jesus. I don't doubt you and I am sorry for losing faith you are the most powerful God and threw you all is possible and I lowered my head in shame and asked for his forgiveness. He turned from me and started creating the ripples again.
I started concentrating harder on keeping my faith and feeling each ripple flow, his chants were louder now more intense.
Jesus would have me turn over my physical body so that he could get to the other side it was like if my body was a big pimple and to squeeze all the ooze out of a pimple you start from the outer sides and push everything up and out, well that was what Jesus was doing to me in a sense pushing everything out of my spirit from the center out to the ends, and I could feel the heaviness start to slowly disappear. Then it got more intense every time the staff would hit or Jesus would you shall not pass I would see a bright light so bright I would say it was beyond bright it was beyond light it wasn't blinding but beyond the brightest light and loud like supersonic loud boom explosions but with no blow back the feeling of each ripple flowing through my body was like feeling every cell it's like if I ran my hand through each cell feeling each individual one releasing all things attached to my spirit that wasn't supposed to be there he wasn't just targeting the evil he pushed out everything.
Jesus turns to me and I take a good look at him I see he was wearing a long robe, white in color with the golden tint and sandals made of gold, a golden rope around his waist, no armor, just a staff in hand his hair was dark and wave his eyes dark and penetrating, very handsome man not as muscular as the angels but still very strong he had no wings he was around six feet tall light brown skin he was perfect. He says to me "this is enough we are going to end this now"
Jesus starts to spin in circles that circled me making a tornado type vortex, telling me to feel everything every wind gust sending everything attached to me flying off the angels dropping down to join in on the spinning that was so fast and so strong and only got faster and stronger I strained hard to keep the momentum going I could hear myself yelling bent over eyes closed concentration feeling the power of the wind. It was not like being inside a tornado it was like being one. Everything that was wrong lost its grip from me I instantly felt free from bondage. This tornado went on for about five minute so I felt. When it was over there were two angels around me placing what looked like square pieces of wet paper or something similar they were very quickly making a barrier wall around me I remember asking what is that they were doing and the angels said," nothing can penetrate through this nothing can reach you" as they were doing that Jesus turned to me and placed me in some kind of wooden cradle and said." it's time for you to sleep as he touched my forehead with his finger at least twenty times each time saying sleep, sleep, and each time he touched me I felt like I was falling into a deeper and deeper sleep but at the same time still seeing my body lay there and also seeing my body fall into deeper sleep in this cradle losing sense and sight of my body just becoming grey dust in the cradle.
I now see Jesus's angels take me up. In the cradle I ask where are you taking me?." he says to heaven to rest he says," he will not leave my side and that I am safe". So I can not only see myself being whisked up into the sky seeing myself get farther and farther away visually I get smaller and smaller, but from the cradle, I can see all around me and what I saw was so beautiful and amazing, so peaceful. Thinking about it brings me to tears, the colors were beautiful red, white blue it was the cosmos the beautiful star lite sky with all its amazement but I am not only seeing this I am up close I reach out to the particles that are floating around and I feel them. Seeing the stars so bright looking so close but they were still so far I don't have words to correctly explain what that was like and the silence it was so silent that it was the absence of sound when we stopped I thought this is heaven and I was at peace. I could no longer see from the cradle view. I could only see from the ground where it looked like I became bright like a star while Jesus's angels stood aside me
Then instantly I was back in my body no longer able to see heaven no longer able to see from the realm that we just fought in but I was awake asking what time it was, and to my surprise, ten hours had gone by I laid there for ten hours never awakening. Until now. Remembering fully what happen I start to access in my mind what I was feeling. And what I felt in my flesh was fear!
I was afraid to move because I didn't want to tense up my muscles thinking if I did they could go back to being tensed and spasm again. I was afraid of my mind wondering, with fear remembering that Jesus said I must believe and have faith so I tell my daughter to put on Joel Osteen and to just let it play over and over again so that I could hear the preaching of his sermon, I was afraid. Then I felt something come up from my stomach and projected out of my mouth it tasted like pure bile I threw up repeatedly and still I moved to the bathroom very slowly because I didn't want to tense up kind of glad the vomit was shooting out of my mouth and I didn't have to use any muscles, falling in and out of sleep for the next 15 hours not having any emotional feeling except fear noticing every twitch I had.
Thinking wow was that true? Did that really happened or was it a dream? Hours had gone by and I threw up everything in my whole body it felt like but it was different kind of vomit it was like if it was all the poison or rotten sludge I don't know it was pretty gross. I barely made any movement other than what was required to get to the bathroom too scared to move. But at the same time, I felt freed from whatever had me, feeling free but far from normal. Feeling like I was not connected to the ground.
Another 16 hours go by I am still on the floor. All this time I am mentally going through what I experienced. Sorting through emotions and prioritizing which problems to address first. Figuring out the possible solutions and outcomes and tracing each one back to its origin. It's the way I solve everything.
I get up shower quickly feeling a little more confident that if I move my muscles it won't happen again. All I can say is wow still trying to figure out what I was feeling it was like if I had no depth, no direction, not grounded, no belonging, like if I had no spirit or soul although I was not feeling hopeless or like giving up it was just like I was missing a part of me. And that was it I was still missing my spirit. I saw Jesus's angels take it up to heaven but I never saw it come back down.
Was I ever going to have my spirit back? I wasn't sure what was going to happen next I just knew I didn't like the way I felt. Afraid to return to work. Afraid I would lose my job. Just complete confused...
by this time it's Thursday and I get up but I don't get dressed or put make-up on I didn't even comb my hair cut it was like I just didn't want to or need to but at the same time realizing that that was not like me, a better explanation would be to say I just didn't think about it either way, and after throwing up for three days I still was not hungry or even thirsty. The most important issue in my mind was how do I get my spirit back? I go to my best friend's house his name is Nick and tell him what happen and I talk about how I was feeling and what I thought was happening with good feedback from him I came to the conclusion that Jesus took my spirit up to heaven in the cradle that I saw and he never brought it back down so I was just flesh and bone but I didn't have any spirit that's why I feel the way I did. I figured out if I wanted my spirit back I had to be worthy of it. Think of this a person wouldn't take a bath then put on dirty clothes right because that would defeat the purpose of the bath so I could not just get my spirit back and put it in my flesh that was weak and dirty.
I needed to strengthen my flesh against the things of this world that were wrong. Like the poisons we put in it. Things like indulging in pleasures of the flesh I was going to stop doing because my spirit is much more important to me than any of those things it isn't going to be easy but I am going to do it.
I not only believe what happen to me to be true because I lived it. But some other things happen to me that convinced me that it wasn't just in my dreams. Like... When I was younger I used to get cold sores on my lips and mouth doctors said I had a certain kind of herpes virus that causes cold sores well I haven't gotten any cold sores for years like fifteenth or more years and that kind of virus never goes away but it can stay dormant for years so for years this virus is dormant and all of a sudden when I woke up I have cold sores on my lips wondering why all of a sudden and doing some research I read that an outbreak after a long period of not having them is caused by trauma or severe stress on the body I feel like when Jesus was squeezing everything out of me that didn't belong those things were brought to the surface. I don't know kind of strange but that for me kind of confirms that something serious happened to my body.
So what now...
Fear weekends the flesh and I am very fearful right now. Just thinking about Monday coming up so quickly thinking I can do this but at the same time scared. If only my coworkers knew, but would they believe me? Or would I become someone who everyone pointed at and whispered about as I walked by Never to be taken seriously again. Known as a crazy weirdo, overall just hoping that I still have my job because I love my job and need it.
Feeling so anxious about entering those grounds almost to the point of it overriding my love for my job... I don't have a clue. I figure Monday before walking up to work I will give this to my boss let him read it and see what happens I don't expect any special treatment just want to be treated as an equal. When Monday comes and if I should be crippled by my fear and just walk away they will know why. I hope that they will understand.
Monday came, I attempted to get dressed and head to work but I didn't make it still very afraid, so I sent my Ray the HR representative at work a copy of this letter explaining what had happened soon after I get a call from the corporate office.
A lady on the phone named Stephanie is telling me that she wants me to go on medical disability and to see a doctor she says she doesn't want to lay me off because she wanted to reassure me that I still have my job. She sounded concern I didn't get the feeling she thought I was crazy, so I agree, but it ended up that I did get laid off, only because we couldn't find a doctor that would give me an ok to be on disability at least not for the reasons I needed to be.
There would be no doctor that would agree to give me time off so I could find my spirit. It just wasn't happening, so she reassured me that when I was ready to return to work they would rehire me. I believe what she says and I feel a little better, I am just worried I can't make rent I haven't a penny saved and no one to turn to for a loan, I believe it will all work out somehow.
A few days go by and I am still feeling like lost I was just not myself. I would stare into space and get stuck looking at nothing, sometimes I would be so scared for no reason, Tim stood by my side and watched over me always making sure I felt safe. He never left my side.
Part XXX
Reuniting with My Spirit
Then early one morning while I was asleep, I find myself back in the spirit realm where everything is gray and hazy. I see myself coming down from the heavens still in the wooden cradle with an angel by my side. The Angel next to me says, "you are getting your spirit back" and I say 'but my flesh is not clean yet' the angle says "Yes we know you're going to clean it right now".
He does something to me and now I have just the skin to my flesh in my hands like if a snake sheds it skin it was an outline of me but in the inner layer is this thick lard looking substance that lines the inside of my skin the angel says, "scrape off the stuff and by doing that it will clean my flesh" so I am using some kind of scrapper and I start to scrape off this thick lardlike stuff doing it quickly leaving behind spots were I didn't get it all off. I show the angels and he says "now scrub it," I find myself over a sink scrubbing my skin together like it was a wash towel.
Then the angel holds my skin in the air and I feel the cool breeze flow through the inside of my skin it was A very refreshing amazing feeling. He says" it's not clean enough" and I start scrapping some more this time he stands over the sink and starts to scrub me together then hanging me up in the breeze to dry. I see my spirit and I see the outline of my body blowing in the wind. Then the angel says," now we will unite your spirit with your flesh" and I see myself come into me and I feel WOW like a brand new person, I immediately wake up feeling like I was bursting with life. I wake Tim up smiling so big he looks at me strangely but I don't get up I fall back to sleep.
Seeing the angels again in the spirit realm I was so happy I was dancing in the angel's presence excited that I had my spirit back. The angels say." listen." I instantly calm down and pay attention, He says," I have been given a gift from GOD, GOD filled my spirit with his energy and grace, He says I must pass on this gift to those who need it. I ask him to explain he says," there are so many people who are at a point in their life they are so humble and they have surrendered their self to Jesus but their spirit is so close to dying out those people need a boost of what Jesus had filled you with" I ask am I Supposed to go out and preach the word of GOD? And to my to my surprise, he says no. He says," I was to just put my hands on people and send the positive energy through me to them.
But that I am not supposed to tell them that that's what I am doing because the moment people are aware of it they will fall on the weakness of the flesh and they will put up barriers to resist it without even knowing it" I asked what if these people have evil attached to them and it comes to me. The angels showed me my body and showed me that my body was completely covered he said: I was totally safe that nothing absolutely nothing could get to me." I believe him and I felt completely safe. The angle says," this will take practice, and determination if I decided to pollute my flesh again it would take longer to do maybe I would never do it. But if I wanted this gift I would keep my spirit new and fresh and clean as I could and I would practice meditating and the transferring of energy and I would be able to spread GODs positive energy to those in need." He showed me that it wasn't going to heal anyone but it would give them the extra strength to carry on. Then the Angel kissed my forehead I awaken.
With a big smile on my face feeling like myself. Totally grounded to the world, I feel sharp, alive, I feel like energy is bursting out of me I was not only myself I was a better self. I feel so happy and so fresh it's hard to explain. I not afraid anymore of anything
I haven't yet tried to pass on any energy yet but I will, I've just been getting to understand the feelings that I've been feeling, I've noticed my feelings getting hurt easily, remembering that it was hard to hurt my feelings with all the things I've been through my feelings were covered so good no one hurt me. But here I am being hurt over the smallest of things. I feel super sensitive to other feelings, I realize that this is because my spirit is cleaned it's like if It is brand new my feelings are not shielded by years of hurt they are out fresh and clean undamaged.
So I have a little bit of work to do figuring out how to avoid damaging my spirit. I know Jesus will give me the answer soon he always does. I also know that I will spread the positive energy of GOD when the way is revealed to me. I understand that the things in this story may seem far-fetched. We must understand that the way I describe the incidents that took place is the way my mind intrepid the things experienced. I promise that every word in this story is true.
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