So this is going to be hard to start off considering I haven't quite found out how to put this all together and into words. Let me start off by saying that in this past year my life has changed drastically. I have felt things that I have never felt before and they are breath taking. Alright, so let me start by saying that I just recently got into a relationship 4 months ago where I actually think that I love him. I mean I have said to my past boyfriends that I loved them but never like this. I know I have a lot more life to live but I think I have a pretty good idea on love.
The last two years I was in a relationship with a guy that was very controlling; he wanted to control who I talked to, what I wore, what I said. I finally got sick of it and starting trying to talk it out with him which just led to harsh feelings and more fighting than you'd ever imagine. I was so unhappy in the relationship and I had no confidence what-so-ever. Well, It came down to the point where I was failing at my home school and had to change to an alternative school (you also need a job to attend but I already had a job). I don't have a car so my friend which also switched with me started taking me. It was the first day at my new school and she tells me that we have to wake up extra early to go pick up one of her friends named Aiden. Now I already thought it was awesome because that is my favorite name of all time. I have been wanting to name my kid Cayden which is basically a mix of my name and his (by the way my name is Cassie).
I was kind of aggravated waking up early to go pick up some kid I did not know, but as soon as he got in the car we locked eyes and I literally stopped breathing. He smiled at me with his eyes and it sent a million pinprick tingles down my spine. Right at that second I thought to myself "This kid is going to start some trouble"; considering the fact that he is so amazingly attractive and my boyfriend was so controlling. And I guessed right. We started picking him up regularly so we started talking more and more and I got his number and we became really close. Soon after that he applied at my work and got hired almost immediately. Now my boyfriend at the time was flipping a total shiat everyday seeing his text messages but something in my mind told me to just "screw it" leave it alone and things will work themselves out. But it became MUCH more than that.
I started working with Aiden a lot more and we flirted and flirted and we both knew what was there we could not hide our true colors. One thing led to another and he pushed me up against the condiment stand and kissed me so passionately I thought my heart was about to pop out of my chest.
Well, a few weeks pass by and same old same old with my boyfriend, fighting constantly. Never happy. Me and Aiden made out in the walk-in freezer a couple times and he would literally beg me everyday to break up with my boyfriend and MARRY HIM. I always thought he was joking cause he would also always say things like "hey we should go have sex in the freezer" and I would always giggle and say "Hey! We can't do that. At least not yet... I have a boyfriend, remember?" and he would get all pouty and it would drive him nuts! I loved every second of teasing that boy ha ha.
But finally it came down to where I broke up with my boyfriend because I was not sure if I even wanted to be in a relationship. Besides he was having sex with one of my good friends because I couldn't go out with him (things got way more complicated with her because she's a psycho b**** but she soon became gone from the picture... She had a baby too...ew)
Things were so confusing at this point I did not know what I should've done. I had other problems besides just my boyfriend and Aiden, one of my other friends was madly in love with me and he was Aiden's pretty good friend so I did not know if me and Aiden would work out. See, the thing with Aiden is he is quite the, man whore... As you would put it. He has been in a lot of relationships but I have too so I have no room to talk. All my friends would say "just stay with Bryce, Aiden will screw you over. That's how players work." So you know I kept my firewall on.
Another couple weeks had passed and I was getting into my old routine of back to the alcohol and tons of pills... Trying to forget about everything that stressed me. I realized that wasn't a good way to approach things soon after ha ha. At this time I hadn't heard from Aiden in a few days and didn't think things would work between us. Me and my father got into a huge fight and I went on a rampage to my room then calmly decided that meditating would be a good idea on how to blow my steam off.
So as I was laying on my back with my hand on my stomach I start to feel this incredible pulling in my stomach like your going down the biggest hill on a roller coaster and a sort of pressure in my eardrums and I was in a paralyzed state. I began to see a all white and feel a light tug on the very center of the top my head and then all of a sudden I am hovering above myself looking down at my own self laying on my bed! I knew in my mind that it was not a dream and that I was still conscious and laying in my bed. I was there, but at the same time I was not. I was with the universe and everything else in it. I was in the sky I felt myself float into very darkness where I then found a figure of which seemed to be Aiden and then I experienced a feeling of pure bliss and happiness like nothing else I have ever felt.
We were walking on what seemed to be a beach which a whole bunch of familiar faces and figures but not quite being able to make them out, some people I knew that were ONCE alive. It was sort of creepy but I just didn't understand at the time. When we walked to the end of my beach I see my brother standing there cross-legged waiting for us to come sit and meditate. A loud noise suddenly brought me back to what I think is the physical plane and I was literally in a state of trance the next 2 weeks thinking about the experience and trying to stick all the pieces together.
I was completely sober at the time also which is the awesome but weird part. I never knew something like this could happened without drugs. I still didn't hear much from Aiden in these two weeks but then suddenly out of no where I decide to call him to see if he wants to come over and hangout and he takes the chance and comes over. We were hanging out talking and flirting (he brought friends) but when we had to get ready for work (we had to go at the same time) I called him upstairs to say goodbye and the second he walked in he looked me in the eye and we started going crazy on each other. It was our first time having sex and it was for like 2 minutes literally because we both had to leave for work. We had promised each other. We would continue and party later on after we got off work (it was a saturday). We anticipated the night as we worked and when we got off we were more than ready to get down. We ended up having sex from midnight to 9 in the morning! We took a shower together, broke a chair and tore down every poster in my room. (don't ask me how...It's complicated ha ha.) It was the most incredible night we have ever had. The both of us. This was also the night when he first told me he loved me. I know I am a dork but I was the happiest girl in the world when I heard that.
So a little after we are going out I tell him about my experience and he understands completely and it flattered ha ha. Well the next thing that is really weird is that me and aiden were rolling on MDMA and laying in my bed connecting with each other. In a way I have never before. I was letting myself float away with him into time and space. I then say "You need to teach me how to play Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd because it's my favorite song ever" and he said of course and then he said "hey, where did the music go" then there was a dead silence and me and him looked at each other. and as soon as we did the intro to Wish You Were Here came in and an overwhelming sensation of happiness and warmth pulsated throughout my body and we kissed like we were never going to stop. It was pure happiness.
He is definitely everything I have ever asked for and I am so thankful for everything that has happened. Bad things can lead to something amazing beautiful and amazing. Well I hope you guys can follow my story there are some details that I just couldn't fit and it may be sort of confusing but whoever read this I am very grateful. Thank you and let me know what you think! THANKS!:)
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