Choosing To Be Here

A few months ago, I had a lucid dream that changed my life. For a couple of years now I've become a very spiritual person, consuming anything I intuitively felt as a gateway to higher states of consciousness. From the Tao Te Ching to Eckhart Tolle, Body Awareness and Meditation to Astral Projection and more.

This dream was very vivid and stable, unlike most other dreams I have which are transient and subject to change based upon my perception.

I was standing in the kitchen of my apartment and the Tool song Parable. & Parabola played in sequence to their completion throughout the dream. The songs were almost orchestrated to the dream.

Standing in the kitchen I perceived a light within myself and darkness outside of myself. I felt sublime, I was aware of my chakras but they were not limited and pinpointed to specific areas of my body. They enveloped my entire body and stretched well beyond it. Everything was paradoxical, I felt my energy system as a whole but could give attention to specific vibrations that corresponded with each chakras at the same time. The chakras vibrations were separate, yet overlapped as well. I was aware of a body, but felt like a mass of fluctuating energy.

I had not a care for anything, but I could clearly analyze and interpret my experience. There were people outside of myself in the darkness and I knew they were unconscious. I felt overwhelming compassion for the people I perceived in darkness, but was aware that it wasn't all that important at the same time. I just stood in presence throughout the two songs, towards the end of Parabola as the song began to culminate I began to dissipate, I could feel myself merging with a higher frequency of energy, I intuitively knew that I would not be in the physical any longer if I chose to merge. I was no longer in the kitchen, I was in a void filled with energy. I perceived it as the space that separates the physical realm and whatever new realm I was heading towards. As I realized I would be leaving everyone I've ever cared about, all of my friends and family flashed before my eyes in succession. Similar to the accounts I've read of peoples lives flashing before their eyes during an NDE. But it did not involve my life story, it was other people who I cared about. I then realized that I did not want to go.

I realized that I was in the physical to help the ones I love and wanted to stay. My work did not feel finished. As soon as I made the conscious decision to stay I awoke in my bed. I was buzzing with inspiration, running around my apartment in joy for the next half hour. Just as with all of these other beautiful experiences I've had and read about, language cannot even begin to contain it, it transcends the mind.

I've posted the lyrics to Parable. and Parabola below.

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm

This one, this form I hold now.

Embracing you, this reality here,

This one, this form I hold now, so

Wide eyed and hopeful.

Wide eyed and hopefully wild.

We barely remember what came before this precious moment,

Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...

This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in

This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment,

We are choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside

This holy reality, this holy experience.

Choosing to be here in

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in

This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal

All this pain is an illusion.

Alive, I

In this holy reality, in this holy experience. Choosing to be here in

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in

This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal

All this pain is an illusion.

Twirling round with this familiar parable.

Spinning, weaving round each new experience.

Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing.

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.

Embrace this moment. Remember. We are eternal.

All this pain is an illusion.