As a young boy I regularly read the four gospels of the New Testament. I had undoubtedly read the account of Jesus on the cross before but at this particular reading, for some reason that I do not know it seemed to impact me more.
I was reading the account where just before giving up the ghost Jesus cried out "my God my God, why hast thou forsaken me" I was greatly disturbed as I thought of what state of mind he must have been in to cry out thus.
I determined to pray and ask God why this should be (I recall thinking of my own father and knowing he would always be there for me) I said my nightly child's prayer automatically and then prayed in the way that I do now as a man, asking God how he could do that to Jesus, I heard no words and experienced no vision, but a feeling of indescribable love and righteousness overcame me.
I was amazed and awe struck by the beauty which I was experiencing, I cried and felt that I wanted to die there and then and go with this feeling. I experienced this about maybe ten times over the course of perhaps a year.
I know God lives and his love and righteousness defies description. I believe that what we don't know now will become clear. I believe my experience is not uncommon, and that this experience has a purpose of which I am unsure.
I feel privileged to have been granted this experience. My hope in writing of this experience is that it may promote faith in God and build hope in those who may doubt God or his love for us.