Since seventh grade I've been dealing with bullies. I remember how much I hated to go to school every single day. Every time I stepped on the school campus I felt dread rise within me as if I was being stabbed in the heart all over again. I was bullied for two years, and it wasn't just one bully, I had over thirty of them. For the past two years I felt trampled on, violated, and abused. Being in that kind of environment dragged me down. I felt robbed from my child hood as an emerging teenager. I fell into a deep depression.
I thought life would get better when I graduated from junior high, since I got accepted to an art high school in Santa Anna, CA. It did get a little better. I had no bullies at all. Sure I had some people who didn't like me, but it wasn't as bad as junior high. I was still depressed. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I should be happy, but I wasn't. The abuse I endured as a teen haunted me for three years prior, and I wasn't even consciously aware of it. No one knew that I was depressed except for my mom due to my secretive nature. It wasn't until I was a senior, when I suddenly experienced a new spiritual awakening.
It happened in the middle of night. I was deeply depressed for some reason. I couldn't take the pain and suffering any longer, my thoughts just suddenly stopped. I felt my heart beat softly against my chest and I was focusing on my breathing. I felt a bunch of energy rise within me. I suddenly felt joy and ecstasy rise from within me as well, it was so powerful too. I began to feel goosebumps all over my body.
I felt more than human. I felt so happy. I didn't know why I did, nothing happened at all. It was just as it IS. I got out of my bed and started to dance. I knew then, that all the pain that I have been dealing with for five years just melted away and disappeared. Tears of joy ran down my eyes. I no longer had thoughts of regret or hate. I began to forgive everyone who abused me and treated me inhumanly from the past. My heart was filled with love, peace and gratitude for the first time. It was the most powerful experience I ever had!
Ever since then, my life started to blossom, I had my first kiss, I finished writing my fist novel, I graduated form my art High School in '08 and I made a lot of new friends. I began to live life with love, peace and gratitude. I am now interested in expanding further in my spiritual journey and reading Eckhart Tolle books. I live life awakening even further each and every day.
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