Finding Faith

On new years eve, at the end of 2004 turned out to be one of the most memorable nights of my life. After celebrating down at the local I was sitting at home thinking too much again. I don't know if you've read my other story "why her not me". It sort of tells how bad a year I had had. And when I thought it's gotten worse since the previous year I was in tears.

I don't know how long it was before I sort of looked up still crying and asked "Why isn't things working out, what do I have to do? What can I do". I was trying to ask God these things when I got this voice in my head, that my answer was in the letter box.

I went out to the mail box to find a Jehovah Witness pamphlet in there. The first thing I read was part of my answer, and that was to be thankful of everything basically. As I read on, I got to the seven deadly sins part and also realized a few of them were running rife in me.

I spent the rest of that night thinking hard about it all. My main sin was hate. I was an angry man. Something happened in my mind that night, it was like my mind had been reprogrammed.

As I said about hate, it is unreal to live without it. (I no longer use the word apart from now) It can lead us to frustration which in turn doesn't allow our brains to think clearly. I now tend to see both sides of every story. There is so much truth in those seven sins it's not funny. The wisdom in them is astronomical. They are the flaws in our behaviour.

Once I was fully aware of the power of those sins my life started improving so much. Everywhere I worked from then on it was hard not to get along with everyone.

I seriously don't think God actually spoke to me, but I definitely think it was my guardian or guide. I'm still far from perfect, who is.

I'm writing this at 3.20am as I often don't sleep much. I haven't worked since February last year. I was cut off by a car pulling into a driveway while I was on a motorbike. I came bloody close to losing my left leg. It was only hanging on by the tendons at the back of my knee and the main artery (how that didn't get cut I have no idea). The doctors were sure I wouldn't walk on it the way it was. A fair bit of bone went missing and they used concrete to replace the missing bone as a temporary fix until I could get a donor bone replacement. Too much bone has gone from my knee to even get a reco. The doc's want to fuse it so it's stuck straight.

The donor never came through but everyday it's getting easier to walk, my walk ain't pretty but I still can thank God. I was on crutches for over a year. I used to surf, play rugby league and I was a tradesman, all of which I can never do again, but it could have been so much worse. It's amazing how we can take things like just being able to walk for granted.

Peace Love and Happiness to ALL

Dylan