I'll do my best to explain what I felt but I'm always hesitant to talk about this because I don't feel like anything I could say could explain the feeling I felt in a just way.
I'm not a writer so pardon me if it's not that understandable haha. I'm 20, and this had happened roughly 3 months ago, so it's still pretty fresh on my mind (though I don't think I'll ever forget this.) I was sitting in front of my computer and I was reading up on philosophy. Which by the way, I'm a skeptical person first and foremost. I've heard of this sort of thing before while reading up on enlightenment and things of that sort. Pretty much I'm just one of those types of people who always seeks understanding... Constantly learning of new philosophical theories and reading about different religions. I never take anything as a fact, but I don't completely dismiss anything either. I just absorb it and add it to my knowledge. Though I'll admit, if it agrees with common sense, reason, and logic, then I can't help but hold it a little higher above the rest. I like to consider myself somewhat a philosopher of sorts.
I was reading something that was explaining how there is no difference at the atomic level in us and a stars, or a piece of trash on the ground. Everything at the most basic level is attached and made up of the same things as everything else. It was explaining about how humanity will eventually come to the point of realizing this and everyone will realize we're just one thing and this will bring us together in a way we've never experienced before.
I'd like to add that I was not on any sort of drug, and I've never had anything of this sort happen before. Also before this, I was skeptical of these sort of "experiences". I wouldn't say I'm a religion person either... I WAS an Agnostic, now I'm Panentheistic (not to be confused with Pantheistic).
Well this is where it started getting weird. While I'm reading this I all of a sudden get this immense feeling of being at one with nature. Everything is one thing, everything is alright. It was the most intense feeling of contentment, happiness, and overall just feeling of everything is completely alright. It's very very hard to explain in words... This wasn't just like a very good feeling, it wasn't a "normal" feeling. It wasn't anything that could be taken as "hmm did I just have an experience or something?" It was like BAM! As soon as you feel this there is not a sliver of doubt in your mind, you're having some kind of spiritual experience. Honestly, it sounds pretty dumb haha but I felt like running outside and hugging a tree LOL. (I know I know, stupid huh?) I've never felt anything like that before or since. It was like... I dunno. Pure bliss. Being in the moment, being completely content more so than words could ever describe.
It didn't last very long, I would say I had about 15 seconds of this "pure bliss and contentment". All I could think while it was happening was I have to hold onto this feeling for as long as I possibly can. After maybe 15 seconds (honestly I have no idea how long I felt this, but it had to be at least 15 seconds), but after 15 seconds or so, it started to fade. I held on to this realization as long as I could and after roughly 20 (ish) seconds past, it was gone. I'll admit, as soon as this feeling hit me... I started to cry and smile. I'm in no way a very emotional person. I'm not known to cry like this, especially completely unprovoked. But it happened. The feeling was too intense and too "good". It was like if an Ethiopian kid won the lottery and he could feed his whole tribe forever but times like 20x that. Everything was so ok in that moment... I was content beyond words. That's the best I can explain it. I will say that there is no doubt in my mind what had occurred, and if you ever have an experience of this sort, there is no way possible that you will have any doubt in your mind as of what is happening except that you're having what many call a spiritual experience.
After this I started googling. Of course since the type of person I am, I had to have some sort of explanation or at least a name for what just happened. Turns out many people have experienced this oneness, including great writers such as Emerson and other philosophers that I really enjoy. And now that I've found this website I see that others also have experienced this. I had no doubt that this is the "Oneness" that people who meditate sometimes experience. Possibly Nirvana that Buddhists speak of is being able to have this feeling and hold it indefinitely. Supposedly that's what Buddha had accomplished.
Anyways this is my story. Hopefully others who have experienced this find this story and enjoy reading about others experiences of the same topic. I find it very enjoyable reading how others try to word this feeling that cannot be worded.
This experience changed my life and I cannot help but feel like I had matured past my years when it happened. I mean, I've always been that kid that adults complimented for being so mature for my age and so bright. I still constantly get this from my elders that I'm "a young person with an old soul." I feel as if this experienced aged me just that much more. I find it very difficult now to feel anger or hate towards anyone for their actions. I feel much more content and relaxed in life. Much less anxious. Even though the feeling left me, I like to imagine that a tiny tiny bit stayed with me when this happened and I'm extremely grateful that I have had this experience.
Well, this was my "spiritual experience" and thanks for reading. Sorry it was so long, I cannot bring myself to explain this in any other way. I never feel like it has been explained in a just way, so I continue typing. But this is it, and others who have had the experience will understand the difficulty in explaining it.
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