The Unknown Is Scary, Unless Given A Chance

The unknown is often feared by the uneducated and close-minded, unless you step out of your comfort zone and give some things a chance (Even if they are unexplained often times). It's been three years that I had disconnected my relationship with the Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit. Three infinite, well-known, loved-by-many creators... And I chose to end it all (Spiritually; Faithfully). I felt like nothing made sense anymore or anything just didn't happened for a reason. There was no help in my life, my decision-making began to go numbly stupid, and my overall awareness of this breathing world came to a permanent halt in my years of living. Well, it was about time for a change. A new direction that someone, somewhere, stepped into my life to make a few (Amazing) changes to me.

I forgot how I met her (Thanks to my short-term memory), but I made a friend through Facebook social media. I am just trying to recap things here so please bear with me, but I think I made a post on one of the groups I was in, talking about astral projection and my blooming, growing interest in the topic. Sadly, nobody seemed to had wanted to comment on the post. It was seen by many people but nobody dared to make a statement (Or they didn't know what I was talking about... Going back to the sentence, "Unknown is often feared by the uneducated and close-minded".) Eventually, a few hours later, someone sent me a private message telling me about this other group that specifically discusses topics like the one I was mentioning in my post: Astral Projecting. The group had a very vast variety of discussions; from witches, to creating potions, to casting (Good) spells, and so much more that my mind wasn't capable of handling such knowledge at the time. I was fascinated by such information, but it took about an entire week before I had the guts to make my first post AND impression. So once I came up with a properly worded thread, I posted it. At least two people commented on it, sadly, not knowing much information about it. However, yet again, my new friend came through with yet another private message.

She talked to me and even confessed that she, too, knows quite a bit about Astral Projecting. My friend gave me advice, tips, and a lot more. Eventually, after about a week of trying to astral project TWICE a day, I was very, very physically drain (Plus, I was also tired because I was doing a commission for a lousy costumer that ended up betraying my trust... I don't want to talk about it). So, I explained to my friend about what's been happening after a week of failed attempts per day and of course, like any average human with emotions, I became increasingly frustrated with the results. She eventually mentioned about asking my spirit guide for aid on projecting. I was dazed and confused; spirit guide? What in the world is a spirit guide? After she explained what they are, what they do, and how they are with us always... I was very excited and shook from head to toe in disbelief. We talked and talked all night long, discussing spirit guides along with astral projecting. It was clear to me that I must try to interact with my guide. But first things first; Whom is my spirit guide, what is their name, and what is their gender? These were the basic questions I wanted to know as I had never interacted with my spirit guide before and it's just like meeting someone new.

This happened two months ago (June). I was at my table in the dining room, pencil in hand and drawing for the lousy client that commissioned me. It was steaming in the house, being that it's Summer and Florida is known for hot, hot weather and bi-polar storms. As I was drawing, I decided to take a small break to caught my breath (The drawing was a pain sketching out and I was already about half an hour in already). I got up, did some pacing in the kitchen, went into the fridge to find something to drink or eat, and I sat down at the table again. I was sweating a lot and, not wanting to get any sweat or liquid on the paper, I rose up again from the table and started my pacing. (I pace a lot when I am deep in thought). I was home alone and I couldn't get my friend's words out of my head about her spirit guide and how she is best friends with them (She refused to give out any information about the guide because they are shy). I kept thinking about what my guide will be, what their personality is like, and if I will ever meet them one day. I was flooding with thoughts and thoughts that I sweated even more and felt like I couldn't breath due to the humidity trapped in the walls of this house. So, without much thinking of action, I simply took a deep breath and slowly, slowly exhaled. It was silence as I stood still in the middle of the kitchen and there was nothing to hear but my heart pounding against my chest. I hesitated at first because I felt like I was going to be talking to myself, but then I realized I was home alone so why should it matter?

"Um... Spirit guide, I want to know more about you. I been in so much distress lately because I feel as though I have no direction in my life. Please talk to me." (I said something along those lines). I made it back to the table once again and sat down in the squeaky chair. I took another deep, deep breath and exhale once more. I added, hesitated, "C-can you show me how you look? What animal are you?" As soon as I asked that question, out of the blue, two random stray dogs came walking in front of my window right before me! I also saw a small bird on a tree branch too. I whited and even my dog, Hidie, came up to me and gave me a concern look and tilted her head sideways in confusion. Hidie went into the snake room... And then after five minutes of being there, came out and gave me another concern look on her face, again with the adorable head-tilting appearance. Even though I shouldn't be surprised because I did asked to tell me how they look, they did technically told me, but through actions. As the saying goes, "Actions speak louder than words". Of course, I was still new to this whole experience so I shrug it off. My Spirit guide couldn't be a dog, I thought. Only recently I came to liking dogs after years of hating them due to being traumatized by terriers, at age eight or so, chasing me and biting the balls of my feet until I would bleed and keep bleeding for a good five minutes. I, being an ignorant fool, ignored the sign of the dogs and went on with my life... It eventually became worse and one night I was drinking and trying to have fun. But soon the more I drank, the more I somehow thought about my spirit guide, and the more I got upset and even angry at them. I wrote on a piece of paper all sorts of nasty words, cussing them and assuming they don't care about me.

I didn't spoke to my friend for awhile, and gave up on trying to meet my guide. But after an entire month of trying to astral project (And failing each and every time), I felt miserable and a complete failure. Speeding things up, a couple a weeks ago, my parents came into town to catch things up with how I was doing and I told them how everything was going good for the most part. Of all days, I decided to ask my spirit guide, in that week of my parents visiting, to ask them what animal are they. I remembered about the time with the stray dogs on my property and so I wanted to try again. But this time, I was preparing myself; I been researching about spirit guides along with what to do, how to treat them, etc, etc... I felt like a complete jerk after hours of reading about guides and so I apologize to my spirit guide profoundly. I kept apologizing until my cheek bones were raw and aching! And most of all, I meant each and every apology and my heart ache for hurting their feelings. I'm a sensitive person and I wouldn't want anybody to insult me, so the same respect should go to any spirit guide out there. So two days before my parents were about to leave to go back to their place, I asked my guide, "What animal are you?". It took a couple of hours for a respond but it didn't pass my mind until it actually happened.

The final day my parents were leaving, we were treated out to Chili's. It was an amusing night; it was quiet, the waiters/waitress were so polite and caring, and my parents and I were having full on conversations along with funny jokes. I talked to them about spirit guides. My mom believes me, but my dad, being an agnostic, chuckled at my statements of the topic. I ignored him; I know better than to fight with someone with a close-mind and no urge to discover the unknown. There's no way that I will waste my time. NO WAY! When we were done with dinner, we left to go back to my house so they can drop me off and so my family can go home... But sadly we got lost for an entire hour before making our way to my house. Honestly, I was beyond dis-belief what had happened when we got onto my street towards my house.

It was very dark outside and when my dad saw Speedway (Check-point to where my house is) he drove onto that road, but slammed on the brakes when he saw two stray dogs, one black and one tan, crossing the car! Crazy, right? The tan one made it safely across to the sidewalk, while the black dog waited for us to pass by... It is strange now that I think about it. The black dog seem concern, just like the same expression my dog Hidie was making. The black canine kept looking at me until we pass him or her. It was strange... Anyway, I WAS SHOCKED, SHOOK, BEWILDERED, AND SO FORE! Another sign! I wasn't entirely sure, but my thought process was accelerating. When I got home, I said my goodbyes to my parents and told them to be very careful driving home in this pitch darkness of a night.

When I got into the house, I went into the snake room (A comfortable place where I like to be in peace when using the internet, meditating, or just about anything that I want to do in private to enable my focusing) and I was thirty minutes late on watching a live stream from one of my artsy... Friend, I guess you can say. So in the live stream she was drawing a Civet, Steampunk theme. Okay, so a Civet is a wild cat that looks like a cat/ferret/weasel/raccoon (At least to me). I never heard of a Civet until after watching the live stream. Ha, ha! When she was drawing, I put the live stream in the background while I research more on what just happened (Stray dogs crossing the street event). While she was drawing, someone in the live stream wrote to her and she read it out loud. She said, "There's a dog in the cat's fur? Where do you see that?" I was... Well, you already know. I gasped when she said the word, "Dog". I checked back at the live stream instantly and saw that the person watching the live stream commented about her seeing a dog in the fur pattern of the Civet. I didn't saw any dog (Til after the artist posted the drawing on her fan page did I saw a... Cartoon-y kind of dog), but my eyes were bulging out of my skull when I experience this sign for yet a second time (Third if you count the first ever sign, but I am counting the place and time). I tried calming down; my heart rate increased quickly after. I went into another Facebook tab and refreshed the page and the second thing I see in the news feed is a video of a... (You guessed it!) dog! It was a sad video of a camera capturing a person dropping off their dog out of their car (OUT IN TRAFFIC, I may add) and they close the door and drove off, the poor dog tried catching up with the car but later ran off shaking. Another sign was when I scrolled down my news feed and saw some dog ads from a pet store company.

That was the LAST straw; I threw in the towel. I sigh and said in my room, directed to my guide, "Okay, guide... I think I get the hint: You're a dog. I should know better than to question things further and I seen so many signs already. Thank you for answering my guide. I am very grateful". (I said something along those lines).

From that moment on, I knew... There always had gotten to be something more than this life, this world we live on. Things HAPPEN for a reason, and all along I foolish thought nothing happens for any reason. That it was always destiny involved or dice that rolls across the table and randomly lands on a number that WE have to follow because it's the rules. No... Reader, DO NOT think this way. Don't ever doubt the unknown. It can be known if you give it a fighting chance. Do a leap of faith for once and be prepare to unravel a wild, wild journey. You won't regret it. I know I didn't.

NOTE: I plan on writing more on a separate journal... Or post on here. I have so much more to say and I had experience A LOT after this experience I witnessed. And it's only been a week! I will update you guys in another post because this, by FAR, is a long, exhausting read.