Going From Atheist To Firm Believer

I am a father of three in my late 20's that was thrown into a spiritual pit in my early twenties. It was something that I had to climb out of on my own. I'll explain why it was a pit.

Around the age of 19, I was diagnosed with a chronic condition. IgaN, renal disease. Which threw my mental and emotional states into survival mode. I immediately began exercising and eating what I thought was "healthy". Vicious research on the internet over the years has greatly refined my dietary structures.

At this time I was very wounded, and felt alone in the world. I was desperately clawing at this pit I was thrown in, trying to get traction on my health. Which I was...

With research I found about the profound amount of chemicals and types that were poured into our food supply, and how they affected the body. With this knowledge I would modify my diet to stay away from these foods.

My health improved. But my mental and emotional state didn't.

I was becoming angry at the world, for the things that they have done. Even more angry that they did not care. I was becoming more and more aware of what the government was doing to our population through false flags, and dumbing/numbing down the population.

My choice was obvious, there was no god, and I was an Atheist.

The world became a sense of logical structures and cruel realities. I was a computer web designer and programmer at the time, so I was very proof-fact based, as most Atheists are. Which is totally understandable...

I was becoming aggressive and mean. Some because of my mental and emotional pain of feeling alone and betrayed. And some of it was because I was put on very expensive, experimental drug treatments which sent me flying off the handle. Side effects that would include vomiting, dizziness, tunnel vision, random blindness, extreme binge eating, extreme mood swings, being able to sleep for only 3-4 hours per night, the works lol. I was a miserable wreck.

I faced challenges like being made fun of for eating healthy, or refusing to eat certain types of food. By friends, family, and co-workers. I was working a low-wage job, and paying to feed myself, which back in 2009, organic food was very pricey. I kept a strict exercise regime, working out 5 days a week, sometimes twice in one day.

Physically I was in great shape, but not inside.

This was more fuel to my Atheist bonfire.

Here is an old picture of me during this time.

Transform

I think the change is extremely obvious from these two pictures, comparing it to my blog picture at the top of the page right?

Going from lifelessness to extreme aggressive behaviors.

But it seems the Divine threw a major monkey wrench in my Atheist gears. Holy-biscuits

So around the beginning of around 2010. My brother was dating a girl at this time. My brother and I were very close so we would hang out a lot, and get to know each others friends and acquaintances.

This girl he was dating, kept talking about energy, people being negative, and positive attitudes.

I assumed she was from California.

Living in countryside of the east coast, that's the only logical answer right? Lol

Well she wasn't. Later we would all hang out together, and go to her mom's house with a large amount of friends. We would hang out, watch TV, and mostly do a lot of talking.

Well there was this word that kept coming up, Reiki.

"Just give a little bit of Reiki."

"Can you give me some Reiki?"

So I am like WTF are you guys talking about?!?! They explained energy to me a few times, but I was a non-believer. How energy comes from your hands and can help heal others, or make you feel better... Considering I was a HUGE DBZ fan and WoW player, but the application of such things into the real world, seemed to much for me.

Then I started to notice things, like, people answering questions that were in my head. Considering I was a very silent-type of person, this was alarming. I would notice this, time after time, checking to make sure I wasn't going bananas. But it was happening.

One time I was sitting on a couch thinking about some books I wanted to read. Someone came up to me and asked me if I wanted to borrow their books. I was speechless, how did you know?

I needed to pay attention bro.

At this point I was experiencing deja vu feelings like from the Peaceful Warrior movie.

So Later I became acquainted with her mother. A wonderful magical lady, who would talk about dreams, energy, healing, but was also aware of the dangers of the world. She opened me up to talking about my dreams, which were very vivid and intense. She would talk about ancient civilizations, meaning of dreams, magic, Atlantis, crystals, all types of topics that would highly interest me.

Not to mention the mysticism in the way she would speak.

My brother's girlfriend at that time ended up moving in with us, so she could be closer to her trade-school she was attending.

This ended up being a battering ram to a locked away spiritual door deep in my mind. She ended up challenging a lot of my ways, actions, and thinking. Usually with questions, that led me to finding my own answers. And I greatly thank her for doing this.

Later my brother and I had her mother do a tarot card readings.

She pulled my brother's card first. It was a renaissance magic man.

Which was rather funny, because in WoW my brother would play a Holy Paladin...

Here comes the next card, it's for me.

Shamanic medicine man... The same type of character I play in WoW. This lady was totally unaware of our game characters, but if your spiritual you know this is the way the universe works. Things happen for a reason, the choices you make.

She told me about creating a medicine shield, and medicine bag. She also proceeded to give me some insight on the different types of medicine man and what that means, later gave me a book Rolling Thunder, a great Cherokee medicine man's auto-biography.

I started studying some astrology, bought a few books, such as.

The Fated Sky

Do It Yourself Astrology

Shamanic Egyptian Astrology

These also helped crack open that spiritual door, that had immense knowledge and adventures waiting to fly out.

Caps

Then I came across an article... Searching the internet about Capricorn astrology. An astrologer posted, Capricorns born at the end of the month will have a visit from Uncle Pluto. He is an uncle that destroys everything in his path, for the sake of creating something new. Which I was a little baffled at the time.

So my 21st birthday rolled around.

(7×3) - 7 being the divine number of the Cherokee, 3 being a staple number for magic.

It was my 21st birthday (new years eve), which meant I could legally drink alcohol. I went to the liquor store and bought the largest liquor bottle I could find, Vox Vodka. It was nasty but hey.

So I assumed since it was my 21st birthday some of my friends, family, or my girlfriend at the time would throw a party for me.

Well nobody cared... I was invited to some parties last minute, it was like everyone forgot my huge 21st birthday. I mean all of my other friends and family would celebrate their 21st, everybody would join in. My brother's left me hanging, and my girlfriend at the time thought it was more important to hang out with her friends. And my friends didn't seem to care, I asked them what they were up to, and didn't get a response. It didn't really surprise me now looking back, at how crazy aggressive I was, being left all alone.

So I sulked all day, until around 11pm. One hour until the ball would drop, then my birthday would be over. Spending it all alone. A girl texts me that I used to go to school with asked me if I wanted to goto a party. I decided to get out of my sulk pit and agree.

At the time I was interested in this girl, and my girlfriend at the time was totally absent from my emotional life, always running off with friends.

So I am thinking she is going to pick me up and maybe we would flirt and hangout a bit.

Well she picks me up in a car with her new boyfriend... Lol.

We go down the road, this guy is driving fast. Meanwhile I am dressed like a Holister muscled out model, wearing skin revealing tight fitted clothing...

We arrive at the local trailer park and head into a shanty trailer.

There were a lot of people their my age, and they were all very drunk, and definitely not my crowd. One guy at this party is a kid I used to get in fist fights with all the time. But it was cool because he was trashed. Lol.

So I am feeling super out of place at this party, which is totally not how I wanted to remember my 21st birthday party. I ended up drinking very little vodka, and standing in the kitchen where I watched this girls new boyfriend down car-bomb after car-bomb. Slamming drinks, yelling and screaming at his friends.

I am standing behind this guy propped up against a counter top, and the girl walks up to me, that I was interested in. And tells me to take off my shirt! She starts pulling my shirt off right behind her boyfriend, because she wants to wear it. Touching and caressing my abs.

Meanwhile my holy-biscuits bad idea radar is going berserk. I am thinking,

Aggressive drinking boyfriend + newguy getting half naked with his girlfriend = disaster for sure.

So I am trying to change this girls attention elsewhere, desperately. Eventually her drunkenness works to my advantage.

I ended up calling my Dad to make my great escape back home right after the ball dropped.

This whole event I reflected on the next day. Is this what it is like to be an adult? I don't want the rest of my life to go this way.

20150715_pluto_memes

So uncle pluto was coming for a visit. It seemed on my birthday he just arrived, but he didn't hand out his gifts he had for me yet.

A month later rolled around and uncle pluto was still in my house. (zodiac)

I got a call from the Mystical lady about doing reiki and reiki attunements. She said she wanted to help me and asked if I was interested.

I said, uh sure yeah I'll do an attunement.

Not knowing what I was getting myself into, completely ignorant. In a good way =).

This was Uncle Pluto's gift to me.

He was about to rock my world, flip that crud upside, or might like right-side-up!

The day before the attunement I just finally finished an anime series on netflix. It's a series about a woman who has amnesia and wakes up in Tokyo with a child, she assumes that she is the child's mother and takes care of this little girl.

In the anime series, Witchblade, Tokyo was hit by a massive earthquake and Tsunami that wipes out much of Tokyo and causes a lot of problems. The aftermath surrounds women with special artifacts either man made or found as relics that give women super abilities. The woman sometimes to go lustful-lengths committing aggressive violent acts battling each other, as they are warriors.

Witchblade-witchblade-anime-30295139-1280-1024

The day of the attunements, I got to her house. Almost arrived late, as I was at the gym beforehand. I wasn't aware that it was a sacred ceremony. I apologized when I arrived. There was another woman, a doctor doing an attunement as well that day.

When it was my turn, I laid down onto a table and was told to close my eyes and relax. Baffled, I did this and agreed. I laid upon a table and closed my eyes.

She began to walk around the table moving her hands around, I was feeling heat sources coming from all over my body. I began to get very calm and centered. There were warming sensations all over... It was something I was not expecting... After about a half hour she said I could get up when I was ready, she whispered into my ear, " You are a master! "

If there was a text dialogue for my thoughts, it would have said this, "?dafuq?"

So when I felt an urge to get up, I did. And something was very different. But I could not explain it at the time. Something was just different. I was super calm, not angry at the world, I felt relaxed. Even more so, I felt like a little kid inside.

Like a beaten up little kid that was being taken care of.

They gave me a lot of water to drink, and we watched a spiritual movie.

The movie was about a man, learning to cope with his new spiritual experience of life. At first he was learning about healing his hatred and coming to becoming more open of a person. He sought out to seek others like him, in a community. Peaceful people were congregating to create a new society.

While watching this movie, everything I was experiencing seemed... Intense. I was noticing more details to every living breath of my life. But I still wasn't understanding what was going on. I was like a newborn coming into the world.

My drive home was intense. Very intense. I felt calm, but I was hyper-aware of all self-destruction thoughts that would fly through my thought processes. It sort of sent me into a small panic. Yet I was calm and relaxed.

When I got home to my room, at my parents house, I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. I could see an array of colors swimming above my head. I was pretty puzzled, as I never noticed this before. It was like I was watching all the tiny fragments of the suns rays shimmer on my ceiling. I could see the air the occupies the space between objects.

I got up and went downstairs, I grabbed a Nacho chip. It felt heavy in my hand, almost unbearable. I dropped the chip on the counter top. I reached in the fridge and grabbed a handful of blueberries instead. I immediately noticed how light the blueberries were. Puzzled. So I grabbed the nacho chip with my other hand, while still having a handful of blueberries in the other. The handful of blueberries by weight was logically heavier than the single nacho chip, but it wasn't. The nacho chip was so heavy in my hand.

I ate every blueberry down to the last one. But at the last one I saw another difference in my newfound perspective. I seen blue static charges jumping from the blueberry to my fingertips. I dropped the blueberry shocked. Then I picked it up. I squinted my eyes tightly, trying to ensure myself I wasn't going nuts. I seen small shimmers of static charges jumping between my fingers and the blueberry. I then ate the blueberry, baffled but excited.

I then placed my hands close to each other, but not touching. Close enough you can feel the body heat transferring between the hands. I walked over to the sunlight and stared between this world that was happening between my fingertips. It was amazing. I watched static charges of white and light blue charges dance between my fingers. It was like they were calling me to dive deeper into this new world.

Then I noticed another change...

My taste. I noticed the leftover blueberries that I had eaten, tasted sooo good. It was like my taste-buds got an upgrade.

I ran out the door, and flew down the sidewalk. Went into my workout area for further investigation.

Checked my fingers again, yup static charges are still there, dancing between my fingers. I proceeded to walk over to the speed bag and do a small workout. It was like my reflexes were heightened. I could feel more in my body. It gave me confidence. I tried new tricks on the speed bag while going as fast as I can, with great success. I was doing things I was too afraid to do before, like throw elbows, backhands, and other stupid tricks.

So I stopped. I couldn't grasp what was going on.

This attunement, this Reiki that was flowing through me.

It was changing me.

Reiki-2

I talked to my brother's girlfriend at the time, and she advised me it was all normal. She also seemed a little startled at the things I said and noticed, as she noticed them too but didn't give them a lot of thought. She said with my "new eyes" I should explore the world. She also gave me advice and forewarning that I should change my friends.

Which was advice I didn't follow until more recently.

The next day, I woke up and went to the Reiki woman's house. She had the TV turned on and my jaw hit the floor at what I had seen on the television. There was a large TSUNAMI that hit Japan. Fukushima. Just like in the anime series, WitchBlade, that I just got done watching the day before. I was startled and freaked out. I was really trying to grasp what was going on.

Giphy (35)

So as usual, I went out on a Friday night date with my girlfriend of that time. I was still feeling very different from the attunement I went through. But we went out to a steakhouse for some grub, as usual.

I sit down, she sits down, we look at the menu. Simple enough right?

The restaurant was packed full of people, overloaded.

We looked at the menu, even though I already knew what I wanted. A small steak with potatoes. My girl at the time, got an order of pasta.

Now usually when I order a steak, I have to fight with the wait staff to get A1 or steaksauce. It would usually take forever to get steak sauce. But this day was different.

When my steak arrived, it came juicy and fresh charred. It smelled amazing, and I smiled back at it.

What blew my mind next, was that I never asked for steak sauce. Not even once.

All of a sudden, the wait staff kept bringing me bottles of steak sauce. Every 30 seconds a waitress would drop off a bottle of A1 at my table. Eventually I had over 10 bottles of A1 steak sauce at my table!

I usually fight to get one at my table, now I have a dozen! I didn't even ask for any, which blew my mind.

I told my girlfriend, that this reiki attunement kept making odd things happen to me, that are out of the ordinary. She agreed that peculiar events kept revolving around me since the attunement.

I notified the wait-staff politely that I had too many bottles of steak sauce. The waitress was baffled that I was hoarding all the steak sauce, and took all them back except for one.

This is an event that I will always remember.

How everyday life changed.

But the best was yet to come...

I started experiencing, lucid, vivid dreams. I would lay to rest and go into super intense dream world. It got to the point, that I was able to control what I wanted to happen when I arrived in the dream state. I could create whatever objects I wanted, or go where-ever I wanted.

I was in full control of my dreams.

But then and monkey wrench got thrown in my gears again.

One night when I fell asleep... I had a particularly intense dream.

I found myself on top of a spiraling flight of steps. It was sky-high, space-high! At the bottom of the steps was earth, tiny and small yet awe- inspiring. I turned around at the top of the steps, there was a path in front of me. A huge temple, at the top of these steps.

I was trying to make heads from tails, or as my dad would say it. Find your butt with a buttmap.

Then I remember being plucked and dropped into a room, on top of "someones" bed.

Panic set in.

I got picked up and dropped onto a bed.

Then, all of a sudden, A large grey 20ft man leaps onto the bed and sits before me. I was extremely shocked and began to panic. He reached his hand out to me and I grabbed his hand, then proceeded to bite down on his palm as hard as I could.

He let out a large yell! But after what I did, I came to my sense and realized this person was peaceful. I immediately apologized to this giant. He came forward and let out a big sigh and said,

"I have been waiting a very, very long time to speak with you."

I was puzzled, and proceeded to stare at this giant that sat before me. He began to speak again.

"Everything around here is for you, for your enjoyment. You can do anything you want."

I now realize he was talking to my state of mind, about duality, and the illusion of right/wrong.

I asked him if it was alright to go off and explore, and he assured me yes.

Pictures of statues at Easter Island.

This is what the giant grey men looked like.

I had many dreams talking to this man, though not at this current time as he told me why he has waited so long to talk to me. He has assisted me in other dreams, and even given me advice. It wasn't until I spoke with other healers did I find out he was apart of one of the three root races of early earth. The lemurians. In which I have met with other large grey giants in the dream world, they come when I at least expect it. Giving me guidance, and vast spiritual knowledge, and meditation techniques.

I highly suggest reading this blog below to go more in depth with lucid dreams, dream that come true, or change the way of waking reality.

This is from the "about me" section on my blog site.