This happened a couple years ago but I will recount it to the best of my ability. I am not a religious person, and at this time in my life I hadn't gone to church or prayed in years, probably 4-5. I am more spiritual... I believe in what I do and have no doubts in my beliefs.
It was 2007, February or March sometime. I was living in Bismarck, ND. My boyfriend had just (about 2-3 months prior) committed suicide in our home (a basement apartment)... right in front of me. We had both been very depressed individuals and had talked about this event often. We had planned to go together... eventually. Well, he went without me and one of his sons found the other bullet under the heater. He had the gun loaded with one bullet but must have realized I was not ready yet... I was put here for a reason, and I had not accomplished it. Plain and simply, I could not go.
I was going through a bad bout of depression and crying and mourning. Very little sleep, very little eating, and absolutely no fun. I had a rough night of tossing and turning and was just getting ready to get up for the day when I fell into what I can only describe as sleep, but I know it was not. I remember dreams all the time and this was no dream.
So, I'm standing in this white space and crying and feeling sorry for myself, hating life, hating death, etc. All the sudden I see someone walking towards me, down this long white tunnel. There were no actual walls but I got the feeling there were. So whoever was walking towards me was glowing a brilliant and magnificent white, whiter than the space around me. He literally just shone, and I could tell it was a he. It seemed like forever in a second until he got to me and I saw immediately that it was "Jesus". He asked me why I was so sad and lonely. I explained to him my pain in life and my sorrow for my missing love. He sat down with me and we had the most amazing chat. He never actually told me he was Jesus, it was just the impression I got. He told me ALL the mysteries of life, why I was really there, what the point of continuing on was, how meaningful each and every life really is... everything. He listened to me and consoled me. Finally, he walked away and I "woke up".
I sat straight up in bed and my eyes were wide open. I looked around my apartment with this feeling of innocence and bewilderment. Almost like how I imagine a newborn looks around, or a kitten first opening it eyes to the world. I put some clothes on and ran to my front door. I don't know if you know a lot about North Dakota, but it's still pretty cold and miserable in April so Feb/March is usually awful. I didn't even put a coat on and I stepped outside (it would've been right after sunrise), it was absolutely gorgeous out. The sun was shining off the snow covered trees, casting little rainbows across the sky, the snow glittered like diamonds, there were birds chirping and flitting around, squirrels were chasing each other in the trees, I didn't hear any cars or noises except the beauty of nature. And I started crying, and crying. Tears of joy... To be a witness to such an amazing sight... Everything was brighter than I had ever remember seeing it, I was not unhappy, I could feel life and energy flowing into my body. It makes me emotional just thinking about it...
Anyways, that feeling lasted for quite some time, at least a couple weeks after my incident. I have not forgotten my lessons, and when I get real down-in-the-dumps I step outside and remember...
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You were worthy of His presence and His comforting.
I will write of my first meeting with Jesus, and tell of the horrible experience I went through for Him to rescue me. An experience I hope others will never have to undergo. But then again, to witness His entry was all worth it.