My Regret

My wife and I had a friend, who has since gone her own way, and she had a small child prematurely and was at that hospital every day, every hour, every minute she could give. Finally, Madeleine came home. In two months she died from SIDS. We met Melanie at the hospital to help her through that time. I carried Madeleine to her final resting place. Later, after Melanie joined a SIDS group at the hospital, she came to us and asked that we go with her to attend a prayer - the hospital was planting a tree for each SIDS group, and the families would be there to say final words, a prayer and hang something of meaning on the limb of the tree. We went.

Each family was in immense pain and the words were soaked in emotion, sadness, release... There was a couple in front of us - and no one behind us - and probably five other families about this tree. I heard the couple speak but could not hear there words - I was completely focused on the face of their living child, around 9, a little girl who was staring up into the faces of her parents. It was such a powerful look - it was a Human Moment. I watched grieve in silence with her parents - saw her father's shoulders sob - and then - there was a whisper in or behind my right ear that was calm, distinct and loving - it said "Tell them Michael will be ok...". I was stunned. I looked around and there was no one around behind or next to us. I just stood there - and did not say what I was asked to say. I am saddened every day I think of this event - because I failed to act. I am not sure why - maybe I thought I was going crazy - felt fearful to stand up and speak out. But those words, had I spoken them, may have lifted immense pain from this family. I failed. I regret this one day, this one failure to act, more than any event or mistake in my life. It was surreal. The voice was there - I heard it - and apparently ONLY I heard it after some later discussion with my wife and our friend. I am still stunned today. But I know what I heard - and how it sounded. I will not fail that again...