Conversion

My conversion experience happened in 1981. I was 25 years old at the time and I am now 52 and thought it is time to finally write it down. I had a miscarriage and was very depressed about the experience at the time. I had to have a D&C, which is a common procedure after having a miscarriage. During the surgery, when I was being put under with the anesthetic, I remember hearing a low buzzing sound in my ears, which kept getting louder. I had had surgery three or four times before this and I remember thinking to myself, this is strange, I don't remember ever hearing any noises before.

When I was completely under from the anesthetic, the buzzing sound went away and the next thing I remember was standing in a small room and the walls of the room looked like thick dark cement. The room was foggy, free-standing and there were no walls on the front of the room, but walls above me, below me and in back of me. I could only see more fog in front of me. I remember not feeling any cold, heat or sound. In addition, I felt no emotions and there were no other people around either. Nothing was here, except for this foggy room and I was in it - YIKES! I had no idea where I was, which did not do anything to comfort me. I felt that I was in some type of holding tank somewhere out there.

The more time I spent in this room the more fearful and frightened I became. I felt like I was up for grabs by whatever or whoever was out there and that is was my soul that was at stake. The only thing I could think of doing at the moment was to call out for Jesus. I remember calling and calling and calling for Him. It seemed like I had called for Him for a very long time. I kept calling louder and louder and being more emphatic and more sincere with each call. I decided that I was not going to give up until Jesus showed up. I was very determined to have Jesus come to get me out of this room. The alternative, it seemed to me at the time, was for some evil force or demon or maybe Satan himself, to come and get me, and I had accepted the Lord in my heart, so I wanted Jesus, no one else would do for me in this situation which I found myself in.

All of a sudden Jesus finally showed up. I knew exactly who it was and that He had come to rescue me out of this place. I remember in an instant being totally engulfed by Him, with my spirit being apart of His spirit but I still had my own identity and personality. At this point I do not remember having my body any more. It was just my spirit being consumed in Him and with Him with total communication and access to His thoughts. This is the best way I know how to explain what was happening to me at the time.

The thing that struck me the most though, was the immense love He had for me. I have felt His presence and love in my life, but never like ever like this before or after this experience. The love He had for me was a million times greater than I had ever experienced before with absolutely no condemnation for my short comings, weaknesses and for the wrong I had done in my life. I had total acceptance, forgiveness, and love at all the same time. The intensity and purity of this love was indescribable and so piercing and powerful that there are no adequate words to describe it fully. The verse comes to me: "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." This verse really describes it the best as to what I was experiencing. I also remember that there was so much information being poured into me all at once during this time, that I was astounded by all of it and could barely take it all in, even in this spiritual state - WOW!

While all of this was happening, I sensed that I was spiraling upward, moving far away from this earth. I remotely remember seeing planets and galaxies and many many stars and being shown things about the creation of the universe and how it really was not a big deal for God to create all of it. I remember thinking how clear and crisp all of the information was without the physical limitations that we deal with on a daily basis. Another thing that struck me after the experience, is that I had no thoughts at all of my life how it was on the earth, or any thoughts of my family what-so-ever.

Finally, we arrived at our destination and I was standing next to Jesus on this cliff high above these beautiful lush green valleys back into my own body again. My body was different though. It felt lighter or something. I really do not know how to describe it. I also noticed that there was warmth in this new place and I still had ongoing communication with the Lord. The valleys had the greenest most perfect grass I had ever seen and all I could think of doing was to go to explore them. I truly believe I was in heaven at this point and felt that I was supposed to go and explore these lush valleys, to get lost in them and discover the new planet called Heaven that I was on.

I was so happy to be there in that beautiful, peaceful place. It was truly joy unspeakable and full of glory. As soon as that thought entered my mind to go and explore the valleys, I woke up in the recovery room in the hospital. Nothing in that recovery room looked remotely familiar to me. It all seemed so foreign and everything was unrecognizable. I truly was not happy to be there. I later asked by husband and my mom how long I had been in surgery and how everything went. They said everything went fine and I was in surgery for thirty minutes and in the Recovery Room for an hour. The next thing out of my mouth then was I told them I had been with the Lord.

One of the things that stood out the most to me that the Lord communicated to me, was that I was making my life too complicated and I needed to simplify my life. I remember reading in a book once that "All truth is simple and all truth comes from God..." I could not get past this statement. I started reading the Bible for myself, something I really had not done prior to that time. If all truth comes from God, then the Bible is where I should be spending my time I thought. I had read parts of the Bible before but had not studied the Bible before. I wanted to get to know Jesus for myself and spend time and let Him show me the truths of His word. This decision has had a lasting impact on my life.

Prior to this experience, I had accepted the Lord in my life when I was 8 years of age. I thought that was all I had to do. I did not know anything about developing my faith. When you accept the Lord into your life, you step into the front door, which is nice, but there are many rooms to discover.

I always struggled with depression, especially as a teenager, but I really did not know why I felt so down. I heard a Pastor once say, "The more you know Jesus, the more you know yourself..." I really think that is true. By getting to know the Lord more and more, it has given me a self-assurance and confidence that I have never known before. I am not saying my life perfect since this experience. I have weaknesses and struggles, but I have a foundation that will not fail me, which I needed so bad in my life. When I am overwhelmed by life's pressures and stresses, I go to my foundation, Jesus, which never fails me.

In conclusion, I love what the apostle Paul says in Colossians 1:15-20. I am not trying to pound the Bible down peoples' throat, but these words just sum up my experience I had: "We look at this Son (Jesus) and see God's original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank of angels - everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, He organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body. He was supreme in the beginning and - leading the resurrection parade - He is supreme in the end. From beginning to end He's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is He, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in Him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe - people and things, animals and atoms - get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of His death, His blood that poured down from the cross..." This is from the Message Bible translation.

This experience was definitely a spiritual awakening and conversion for me. It has never ever been the same for me after this. This experience totally changed my life. I ran to church, as I had not been there in years. I learned in my Sociology of Religion course that I took in college, that conversion experiences like this are quite rare. What have I learned from this amazing experience? That I have to spend time with the Lord in my daily life developing a relationship with Him, by praying, reading His word and spending time in His presence. It is not about a denomination or a religion. The Lord never asked me what religion I was. To me it is about submitting and being obedient to what He asks me to do on a daily basis.

There is a scripture about having to daily work out our salvation and I truly believe this means spending time with the Lord and getting to know Him more and more each and every day and doing what He wants us to do with our lives. "In Him we live and move and have our being..."