Growing up in New York City in a very strict Catholic home I began questioning the doctrines of our faith at a very young age. Little did I know that this very same quest brought me to a moment in my life in which I would have all these questions answered for me by G-d, Himself!
When this revelation was presented to me, while I was still a teenager, it answered every question or doubt I could or ever would have in respects to my faith. After this profound experience I would understand with perfect clarity all the beautiful mysteries taught to me in Catholic school that I had always questioned. Also amazingly enough it was also revealed to me that I was Jewish, although this fact was completely unknown to me at that time! I was shown the perfect continuation of the mysteries and spiritual harmonies between both Judaism and Christianity. Despite the weaknesses and faults of her individual members, the Church represents for us G-d's kingdom on earth.
Now, many years later, I find myself still a Catholic but also an observer of Judaism. Some years ago my family made aliyah to Israel to claim Israeli citizenship. So, now, we are what you might call Israeli/Catholics. At this present time we find ourselves currently in the process of arranging our final return to Israel whenever the Lord permits this door to open for us.
My husband is a Torah Observant Messianic Jew and we live a life very similar to that of any other Orthodox Jews. He does believe in the Messiah as being Yeshua but does not believe in the Divinity of the Messiah. I do understand the Divinity of Messiah and pray that the Holy Spirit will reveal this truth to my husband when he is ready to accept it. When my husband does kiddush (blesses the bread and wine before Shabbat meals) we also say the Our Father. We keep kashrut (kosher food laws) which is very easy for us to keep being that we are vegetarians.
The Jewish Feast Days are a joy to celebrate because within each and every one of these feast days is a wealth of spiritual teaching on the Person of the Messiah. Although the way in which we practice our faith should be enough for anyone to feel spiritually fulfilled yet for me there always seems to be something missing. The simple act of attending daily Mass endows me with so much spiritual strength that I have yet to experience this in any other place of worship. My husband does not understand why I am still attracted to the Catholic faith and all I can do is pray silently that someday the Holy Spirit will reveal to him what was shown to me so many years ago.
So, now, my life has done a complete 360 degree turn in a very amusing way to say the least! Being of Portuguese-Spanish descent I now found myself in a very odd predicament! Secretly, I now attend daily Mass and receive Communion as it seems I now find myself living the life of a secret Catholic! This is the exact reverse of how my ancestors lived during the Spanish Inquisition days... When they were secret Jews! They professed their Catholic faith openly yet lived as Jews secretly. So after many long years of trying to be either one or the other, strangely enough, I have found my peace and the solution to my long spiritual struggle in being BOTH Catholic and Jewish!
Following are excerpts taken from a book I am writing on the spiritual revelation given to me during the Six Day War in Israel. This was a time in which many Jewish people received supernatural revelations and came to accept their Jewish Messiah. After the Six Day War Jerusalem fell again under Jewish control after 2,000 years of Gentile rule.
The Messiah
It was an average hot summer's day in the summer of 1967 and I was just an average teenager. As I closed my eyes to rest awhile immediately I felt my spirit or what I know as 'my spirit' or 'me' lift up through my head and begin to ascend. All during this experience I felt perfectly normal and I don't remember feeling any fear or pain at any time... Only amazement! I remember thinking that there really was 'MORE' after life on earth. Everything they taught us in Catholic school about life after death and the fact that we possessed eternal souls was then true after all! As I went higher and higher, I also began to accelerate until I was traveling so rapidly that the stars themselves seemed to give the effect of going through a tunnel of light. At a distance in the firmament I could see a very bright light that I seemed to be traveling towards and the closer I came to it the more my anticipation grew. Even though I understood that I was traveling through the galaxies never did I feel any type of fear or discomfort; I was totally at ease and felt as much 'at home' as I did here on earth. The closer I came to the light the more my spirit accelerated towards it.
The moment I reached the brilliant light it felt as if my spirit melted into what I can best describe as an ocean of Divine Love. This love was so great and encompassing that I know very well that there are no human words that can adequately describe it. It is the Love of G-d that is so great, so sublime, and so perfect that it passes all human understanding. In other words it is so all-encompassing that it cannot possibly ever enter or fit into the mind of man nor can our words describe it! Our mind of flesh cannot comprehend or hold this powerful and awesome spiritual love of G-d! I was in a state of total ecstasy as I just melted into this ocean of sublime love that G-d felt for all of His creation. It was all around me and came from within me and from without me and seemed to pulsate with its own life as it expanded outwards through the entire universe. Within and as part of this vast ocean of love I also felt tremendous peace and restfulness. This was G-d's rest. It was much different than any other peace or rest on earth. This rest of G-d was a release of an invisible constant struggle that we all have while living on earth, though we are not aware of it. Nothing on earth could ever compare to this, 'His' awesome peace and love, that my spirit was now experiencing.
Through all of the experience and what was revealed to me I do not remember having heard any audible words. The thoughts and information that I was receiving entered directly into my mind without the use of words. It was being relayed into my mind at a very rapid pace in a way that could never be accomplished on earth. My mind was being flooded with what seemed like all the wisdom and knowledge of heaven itself. Every question or doubt I had ever had was suddenly being answered in intricate detail!
I saw that the Trinity was exactly how it had been explained to us by the sisters. There is a Divine Arc of Three Persons that compose the one and ONLY G-d! The three are one and the one is three. St. Patrick explained it perfectly when he used the three leaf clover as an example to enable us to understand this beautiful mystery of the unity of G-d.
I was also shown that many of the very things that were so important to us here on earth were not important at all in the realm of G-d! Wealth, scholastic degrees, political power, fame, beauty, human charisma, possessions etc. Etc. Were not at all important to the Creator of the Universe! Knowledge of Him, and who He was and loving Him and our fellow man were the important issues to G-d. I realized that truth was what could not be observed with our eyes... Because this was the realm of the Infinite! What we could observe with our eyes was not truth since it was finite and transitory. As human beings living on this earth we should be mindful that we are spiritual beings on a physical journey and that our time living in G-d's earth is beautiful but transitory... Our true home is to be with Him in His Eternal Realm. The Eternal Realm is very difficult to describe since it is timeless! Everything we say and do is programmed by time itself. We think in terms or hours, days, months and years, etc. In His realm there simply is no concept of time whatsoever! Past, present and future are all one.
Then I began to observe certain things and events in something that seemed like a huge screen before me. The very first thing I saw was a man dressed in a white robe with his back to me. The man had his hands lifted up in adoration and he had a gold band that went around his waist. He also had a turban on his head and I noticed that there were tiny bells that dangled from the hem of his robe. He was standing in front of some type of altar and he was sacrificing a small animal on it. The altar itself had been built with stone upon stone and I could see that no mortar had been used in its construction. From the sacrifice on this altar I saw a cloud of smoke that rose up in the sky, there was an intense holiness and reverence about the scene I was observing. At that time I had no idea what this was or what it represented. Yet later I understood that this was a high holy priest of ancient Israel sacrificing a sin offering for his people on a consecrated altar. This is how G-d commanded the priests to build the altars of ancient Israel. They could not have any mortar or cement holding the stones together.
Immediately after this I was taken to a place where I could see the entire planet Earth beneath me. I observed as something somewhere on the planet began to rise up. Slowly as it rose I could see that it was a cross. It continued to rise until it became an enormously huge cross up in the firmament above! Then it stopped rising and suddenly I observed as a cloud of smoke emanated from this cross and went around the entire circumference of the earth. I understood that, to G-d, the event that took place upon that cross far exceeded in importance anything that happened before or after this day. It was by far the most important day in all of history for the G-d who created the vast universe. The cloud was a very effective barrier that kept the eye of G-d from beholding sin in us! The sacrifices that were offered on the altars of ancient Israel kept G-d from beholding sin among His people, Israel, were a perfect prototype of what G-d would provide later on in time and history for all nations on the face of the earth! This blessed sacrifice of substitution was now available for anyone, anywhere, who wished to partake of the tremendous privilege of having the cloud of mercy over his or her life! This precious and priceless covering blocked our sins from being beheld, and therefore ultimately having to be judged by our Creator and Father! This was in perfect harmony with the concept of blood being required for the forgiveness of sin recorded in the book of Leviticus.
And in the firmament I saw a great light that was rapidly approaching me. As this brilliant light was coming towards me, I could observe that in the center was a figure of a man. As He came nearer and nearer the light became as bright as the sun, itself! It was around Him and radiated outwards from Him. His robe was luminescent and pulsated as if with a life of its own. Then as He came very close I could capture His incredible majesty and beauty. His eyes were like torches of fire that seemed to burn right through to my innermost being. They gazed at me with love and knowledge to the utmost. I was aware that my soul stood naked before Him and there was absolutely nothing at all that I could ever hide from Him. He knew the reasons behind the reasons of every single action I had every done and would do from that moment on. He knew the thoughts behind the thoughts I had had and would have. He knew me much better than I could ever know myself. The amazing and very touching reality was the fact that even though He knew me so very well He loved and forgave me! It was amazing how, although, I stood spiritually naked before Him and He observed all my faults and sins He loved and accepted me completely as I was! He could observe ALL the sins and mistakes I would make during the course of my entire life, before and after this moment in time! Yet His love was so strong that it surpassed, by far, any human emotion I could ever experience on earth. Through all this I still did not know who this incredible being was! As I felt that my spirit was melting under the immense weight of His boundless love and compassion I could do nothing more but fall at His feet.
As soon as I fell to His feet I knew Who this Being was. I could clearly see that there were two scars, one on each of His feet. All of the holiness and awesome sacredness of heaven were emanating from His precious feet. The ultimate and complete joy I felt while laying prostrate at His feet is impossible to describe. My soul was totally satiated, fulfilled and overflowing with love and gratitude. I know that I would have been totally content to stay right where I was, at His feet, throughout all of eternity. If only I could stay right here just worshiping and adoring Him forever! Billows of thankfulness emanated from my being as I realized that it was my sins that had caused these scars on my Beloved's feet. This was the Prince of Peace, the Rock of Ages, the King of the Jews, the Messiah and the Savior of mankind. For this precious moment in time He was not just the Savior of all of mankind He was my Savior! All the love of the universe seemed to be reflected from Him to me and back from me to Him.
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